It's an ill wind, indeed...

Writing A Legacy

2012-01-04T10:20:00.000-08:00

When I began to write my autobiography I had no idea I would ever publish it in anything by a spiral bound book produced at our local copyshop. I began as a whim when a friend invited me to join her memoir writing group. It soon became, however, an exploration into writing things that only I knew about, things than I cared deeply about, that would die with me if I didn't record them.

I started out with my birth, all that had been told to me by my mother in a letter she wrote me on my 40th birthday. From there it seemed natural to move on to the story of my mother, which happily she had written out for me, as little had been related prior to her death. My father's story had been written in a family history published in one of those spiral bound books by the wife of a cousin. Again, happily, as I had not thought to question my father about his family's story before his death when I was just sixteen. However, it was not long before there was a story that was just pressing to be told. It just wouldn't wait. It almost screamed at me to get it down on paper. And that's how the first two chapters of It's an Ill Wind, Indeed... were born.

I wrote those two chapters, but then could not read them in writing group without crying. They slumbered quietly at home for weeks. But I was able then to go back to writing the stories of my earlier life, about my aunt Teedy, about life on the farm when I was young, and about WWII, high school journalism classes, and everything up to the beginning of the story that changed my life, what became two distinct books: ...Invisible to the Eye - the first forty years and It's an Ill Wind, Indeed...that blows no good.

At some point, I came to remember that I had speeches on file that I had written during the Bereavement Outreach era, speeches about grief and bereavement I had given as I was going around the State helping other counties develop programs like the one I'd helped to found in Davis. The writing of those speeches had helped me write my way through grief. My mind had been so cluttered I could hardly think, but I learned things as I wrote and discovered new things about myself. I now came to realize as I reread some of those speeches that I may have written them to change others' lives, but what I really accomplished was to change myself.

As months passed in that earlier time, giving speech after speech from city to city, county to county, I saw a new life emerging from the mourning mists. Writing had always been an easy way to express my feelings. It's an Ill Wind, Indeed.... Writing at this time, just a year or so after the death of my husband and young son, helped to clarify my thoughts, led to new feelings, discoveries and understanding. Helping others to work through their grief became a reason for my having survivied.

When I began to write, I didn't imagine the journey. To write a memoir means wrestling with the truth, to tell or not to tell. It means you have to travel back in time. It has the power to reveal deep secrets and to explose long-buried hidden truths, pain and anger...to bring them to the light of day. For instance, in Invisible to the Eye, I wrote a chapter I called "If I had Known Then What IKnow Now" in which I bared my soul and for the first time tole about my teenage feelings about a mother who wasn't there for me.

Although I've always written, it's been mostly about current events, politics, vignettes about people and places, and sadly, not about the day to day living. I highly recommend journal writing to anyone who thinks they might someday want to write a memoir or if you have experienced a loss. Write down your thoughts and moods. When you look back later, you will be surprised at the changes, the progress you've made.

As I think about why I wrote these two books, which are now on the bookshelves of all of my children and grandchildren - or so I might hope - I suppose it is to be remembered, to be known. I recently saw a play at Berkeley Rep Theatre, How to Write a New Book for the Bible, which speaks to that very thing. "The desire to remember and be remembers is a mark of our humanity, a constant refrain the cacophony of history and change. The profound fear of being forgotten after our deaths underpins the way that we choose to chronicle our lives. After all, of our stories are not kep by those who follow us, it means that our deaths are a meaningless exercise in suffering and loss. We long for some kind of afterlife, hoping that the end of our time in this world will be compensated by some kind of existence in the next. We carve our initials in trees and tourist attractions, tuck our grandmother's quilts into a child's crib, and fix fleeting memories to a scrap of celluloid."

Though it finds a new medium in every culture and era, the impulse to bear witness and leave a tangible record remains. And that is why so many of my generation can be found today writing their memoirs. This poem, penned in a bible by a woman named Abigail Torr (1781-1869) says it all:

Abigail Torr is my name

New England is my nation

Durham is my dwelling place

and Christ is my salvation

When I am dead and buried

and all my bones are rotten

When this you see remember me

that I may not be forgotten.

Booksigning at The Avid Reader

2011-12-18T10:27:00.000-08:00

I've not been writing a blog for some time - I've been writing and publishing two memoirs: ...Invisible to the Eye: The First Forty Years and It's an Ill Wind, Indeeed - That Blows No Good. Last night I read from both of them at a book signing at The Avid Reader in Davis.

Some books are written to make you laugh, some to make you cry. Some are written to make you think, many to make you ask the question, "why". Writing through your grief makes you do all of these things...PLUS I found it makes you sort our your feelings and fine a certain release. Both of my memoirs did that for me.

It's an Ill Wind, Indeed... maps my hard fought journey through grief from the very first day of a fire in our home and after the tragic loss of both my husband and son during the next week. The first part of the story is intense, not Pollyanna, but leaves its readers with important lessons to be learned. It is a candid story of the reclamation of my life and that of my four teenaged children, while I hope honoring the deceased.

It's an Ill Wind, Indeed... is easily related to by anyone struggling with bereavement, but may also be instructive to friends and counselors, as well.

Grief changes you. As I wrote in the book, my children lost not only a father and a brother, but a mother, too, as they had always known her.

When I began to write, almost ten years ago, I didn't imagine the journey. To write a memoir means wrestling with the truth. It means you travel back in time, search out your feelings, divulge deep secrets and long buried thoughts, and bring them and events to the light of day. It is to expose your deeply hidden truths, your pain, your anger, as well as all your joys.

From It's an Ill Wind, Indeed...

It is ironic that when all is going smoothly and our love, families, and/or
land are secure, we tend to focus on insignificant problems that divide us; when
we are threatened, we come together to look at the bigger picture - the promise,
the possibilities, our true purpose in life. It is at the time of crisis
that we have an opportunity to renew passions that have been kept slumbering as
if in suspended animation. It is at these critical times we are able to risk, to
go forward in the face of overwhelming odds, to search out the possibilities
and the promise. It is out of crisis that we get the chance to be reborn,
to choose the kind of change that will help us grow, to enable us to fulfill
ourselves more completely - as individuals - or as a country.

It is the unending paradox that we learn best from crisis - from loss,
pain, and suffering. It is through our grief that we are able to disengage
ourselves from the day-to-day status quo and bring ourselves to fully examine
our purpose - what is really imporant in life.

Perhaps crisis can be seen as our homework, given not to oppress us, to
beat us down, but to help us grow - to help us move on to the next stage of our
life. It was important for me to find a new definition for who I was - something
besides a survivor, a bereaved widow and mother. I feel lucky to have been able
to turn tragedy into triumph - to feel worthy again - through helping
others.

In ...Invisible to the Eye, I wrote stories about my birth, my mother and father's lives, as well as those of forebears - and my first forty years. Those forty years included many changes - the McCarthy hearings of the House UnAmerican Activities Committee, civil rights, the integration of Touro Infirmary in New Orlenas, and the beginning of the University of California Medical School - all of which we had a part. I wrote that memoir for my children and grandchildren, but then when people who had read It's an Ill Wind, Indeed... asked "Are you going to write about the first forty years?" I decided to make it more public.

As I began to write parts of that book, I discovered there were some emotional scores to work through and settle or which I hadn't even been aware. For instance this one about my mother:

I wanted my mother to be at the Mother-Daughter teas; I wanted her to ge at
the performances at school; I wanted more than the "What Every Girl Should Know"
booklet left with a box of "necessities" on my dresser. I wanted her to be home
more than on weekends at which time I would even then have to share her with the
friends and family who regularly gathered. Instead, she brought me gifts; she
brought clothes; she set me up with charge accounts at local stores at a very
young age with which I could buy even more things. I resented the things; I
wanted her presence - not her presents.

Looking back on it now, I can see that I was a little brat sometimes.
Mother would come home after a long week on the road, give me a hug and tell me
there were packages for me out in the car. I'd say, "Oh, do I have to...? doing
my best to ignore her as I perceived she had neglected me.

I tried to make these things not matter. I tried to avoid the wounds of
deep disappointment when whe would promise to try to make it to the
Mother-Daughter Tea in May, but wouldn't; when she would hope to be home in
time to help me get ready for the prom, but couldn't. My brother came in her
stead to my 9th grade graduation. I know that my mother loved me; but as a
teenager I suffered keen disappointment time after time. It seemed to me
that she had plenty of time in her life for the "Aunts" and even for
complete strangers, the "Bring Home a Serviceman for Dinner" fellows, who
often stayed on for a weekend and returned time and again,bringing gifts of
butter and other scarce items. The quality of time my mother and I share was
shallow by comparison, more than likely because of my pent-up resentment,
which snowballed into planned indifference.

As you can see, I dug deep for those feelings of the teenaged Joni. Our stories shape us...our families shape our stories...and I especially thank my family for allowing me to tell our stories. We are each a product of our own bubbling stew - culture, neighborhood, ancestry, DNA - and, in our case, Davis. How remarkable our years in Davis have been. As I finished It's an Ill Wind, Indeed... and read it through from start to finish, I realized that it is, indeed, a love story to Davis, to all those who stood by our family during our darkest hours and for years beyond. But it was a town that fostered my need to find a reason for having survived. It allowed me to make a difference in my community - to feel worthy again.

The Search for Truth

2009-04-16T12:24:00.000-07:00

Truth will out.

There are no whole truths: all truths are half-truths.

Believe those who are seeking the truth; doubt those who find it.

If you don't read the newspaper, you are uninformed; if you do read the newspaper, you are misinformed. – Mark Twain

These are just a few of the hundreds of quotes about truth. My favorite is perhaps one with many attributions – my version: There is no truth; just perceptions of the “truth.” Mark Twains is the one I’m planning to write about today.

If you don’t read a newspaper, news on the Internet, listen to television news or interviews, you will remain uninformed; but if you do all of those things, you are very apt to be misinformed. I have found that it takes real work to come close to being informed. It’s ironic that if you can watch only one-half hour of television in search of the truth about what’s going on in the world today, your best bet is Jon Stewart, who professes to be a only a comedian, but whose sense of irony probably gets you closest to the truth.

Rush Limbaugh’s recent diatribe about President Obama’s authorization for using whatever force necessary to secure the safe release of the sea captain hostage of the pirates off the coast of Somalia is a perfect example. “Now we’re killing children!” Prior to the release, of course, his invectives against the President included, “Why isn’t he doing something?” One has to know that another scenario of an unhappier outcome would have led to a tirade about this liberal anti-military President being soft on terrorism. A no-win situation! No truth anywhere to be found, yet this man speaks for many in our country – and they believe his words to be true

Countdown with Keith Olbermann or The Rachel Maddow show are a shade better, but then that’s probably because of my liberal point of view. You still have to do a bit of sorting and weighing to come near the truth. I even listen closely to the interviews of Charlie Rose and Bill Moyers, although I am addicted to both.

Recently I watched Bill Moyers interview with Arne Duncan, President Obama’s new Secretary of Education, and found myself quite impressed with the choice. His merit-pay and incentive based learning ideas sounded really good – at first blush – but then I got to wondering just how they plan to go about judging the “merit.” Thus far measuring student’s learning has tended to be ephemeral, with teachers teaching to the test, cramming stuff into kids’ heads – mostly forgotten even days later. How much of what you memorized in high school do you remember now? Better measures of student learning would have to include evaluation of portfolios, exhibits, presentations, etc. to give credibility. A standardized test is only an abstract slice of the pie. And that doesn’t even bring up the subject of how political merit pay could become.

High school has become, in many communities – especially in the inner cities – more about controlling teens and teaching to the test, not opening minds and stimulating excitement about learning. Universities have to remedy that, and it takes time and effort. And it doesn't always work. This is a huge distraction, eating up a lot of resources, as well as undermining the value of a four-year degree. We all agree we really need to fix our K-12 system.

As a part of that “controlling teens”, according to a recent article by Andy Kroll in the Tom Dispatch, is a big part of Duncan’s Chicago school system, “…the most militarized in the country, boasts five military academies, nearly three dozen smaller Junior Reserve Office Training Corps programs within existing high schools, and numerous middle school Junior ROTC programs…. Nearly all are located in low-income, minority neighborhoods. This merging of military training and education naturally raises concerns about whether such academies will be not just education centers, but recruitment centers, as well.
[http://www.tomdispatch.com/post/175022/andy_kroll_will_public_education_be_militarized_]

I’m reminded of the day I read of the graduation of one of my former students from Davis's Independent Studies Program. Extremely dyslexic twin brothers, had been referred by their DSIS advisor when they were just twelve years old. Their mother, who had recently died of breast cancer, had been homeschooling them for several years, even taking them to a special reading program in the Bay Area, but they had yet to learn to read even on a consistent first grade level. In fact, perhaps because of emotional turmoil during their mother's last illness and death, they had probably regressed.

We had worked diligently with a program I had just learned about, as well as with Lindamood-Bell techniques, and within the year, I had them reading at a level DSIS thought would give them some success at a modified program in junior high in Woodland, where they lived.

One of the boys had a degree of success, but the other, thoroughly miserable and the victim of cruel junior high harassing, asked to be returned to my tutoring room for independent studies. We worked for three hours every day for the remainder of that year and through the summer on social studies, math, and writing, eventually achieving a reading level that would permit him to work independently the next year with some support from a neighbor.

Some time later, I was elated to read of his graduation from high school. I immediately called to congratulate him, asking of his future plans. He told me he planned to go to Yolo Community College for one year and then join the Marines. When I asked him what had brought him to that decision, he replied, “The Marines are an elite corps…and I want to be elite.”

Although the words came from his mouth, I knew they were not his words. He had been recruited. I wept. Recruiters prey on just this type of young man – one without the grades to get into a four-year college, one who would probably struggle with even a City College. This boy, who had worked so tirelessly and with remarkable motivation to be the best that he could be, would eventually join up and become Iraq fodder. This from the militarization of our public schools as they now are!

According to the article I just read about Arne Duncan’s Chicago charter school/military academies; this is what he may have in mind for cities across the country. This did not come out in the interview with Bill Moyers. There had been no mention of militarization, although he had praised the Charter Schools of Chicago.

Higher education offers its challenges, too, as it becomes more expensive each year. Does every student – even the prepared ones - need four years of study at facilities that cost hundreds of millions of dollars to construct, run, and maintain to learn the curriculum of a course of study that could be accomplished via methodical independent study. Tests could be offered that would confer the equivalent of a college degree.

Educators and parents urge their children to get a college degree, but can you take a four-year degree and go teach? No, I’m afraid not. You have not learned what you need to know. You have to now get a teaching certificate and preferable a Master’s.

How about Business College? Are you ready to open a business? I think you would find there is a steep learning curve, and that your business education at the University of California didn’t prepare you for it.

What about a degree in English? Could you earn a living writing? Not likely. If you’re lucky, you will find an internship or entry-level job somewhere on one of the few remaining newspapers that haven’t yet folded at a salary less than you could earn asking, “Ya want fries with that?” If you want the skills of a pro, you won’t find them in a four year college. You’ve got to practice, practice, practice…or you can write a blog.

I wish Secretary Duncan well, but I’ll be keeping an eye on him and his ideas. I’m looking forward to learning more. And it will take reading Truthout, Huffington Post, TomDispatch, as well as The New York Times, Wall Street Journal, and Washington Post, listening to Charlie Rose and Bill Moyers Interviews, Jim Lehrer’s News, and Jon Stewart, plus reading many of the non-fiction books recommended…and still, I’m guessing, there is no truth, only perceptions of the truth.

Bill Moyers' Journal - a must see!

2009-04-04T08:02:00.000-07:00

Oh, if you didn't see Bill Moyers' Journal last night, it's a must see!

http://www.pbs.org/moyers/journal/04032009/watch.html

And after you've watched it, don't miss reading some of the comments about last night's show on the blog. There are 'pats and pans' - something for everyone! I'd love to know what you think.

The Black interview's veracity may be debatable, given the confusion over the law related to "taking over the banks" vs. bankruptcy, etc., but the discussion about the state of journalism in this country is, in my opinion, right on target. It is difficult to find a newscast or interviews, such as Meet the Press, etc. that doesn't contribute in the dissemination of the current propaganda with very little true journalism. Bill Moyers Journal and Fareed Zakaria being two exceptions, I think...and maybe Jim Lehrer's and Charlie Rose, although they don't seem to be willing to be too confrontational either. As these two guests mentioned, it is ironic that Jon Stewart, viewed as a comedian, is our main source showing the hypocrisy and, indeed, malfeasance of the media...particularly cable news.

I loved Tim Russert for his willingness to confront his guests and show their inconsistencies, etc., but remember being horrified when he said that he only relayed to his listeners things he gleaned from the administration only if they released it - this during the Scooter Libby/Valerie Plame debacle. Where are the muckrakers when we need them? I care little about what the First Lady is wearing to meet the Queen, but I certainly care that Larry Summers, our President's senior economic advisor, received millions in fees from the very financial firms being bailed out, on his advice, by our government. A definite conflict of interest! The foxes appear to be guarding the hen house!

Meet the Press today, instead of calling Larry Summers to task today, interviewed the new CEO of General Motors, asking him time after time how he planned to get the company back on track and whether he is preparing the company for bankruptcy. Give the man time to get the work done...he's only five days into his 60 day deadline. Larry Summers and Tim Geithner, however, have some answering to do, it seems to me, and not just about the TARP program, but about their relationships to the recipients.

The Dichotomy of Religion

2009-04-03T15:51:00.000-07:00

I remember the day not quite as if it were yesterday, but I do remember it. I was in fifth grade, ten years old, maybe nearly eleven. Father Ryan had come into our classroom at my parochial elementary school in Hoquiam, Washington, to talk about our catechism lesson, as he did regularly. At some point, we had learned about original sin, baptism, and one "fact" that caught my attention: if babies died before being baptized they would end up in a limbo-like state in purgatory, since they had not been absolved of mortal sin through baptism and therefore could not enter heaven.

I’d been struggling with faith for some time, as I was a child who had to have logical reasons for everything. (Nothing much has changed in the ensuing sixty-seven years!) At my first opportunity, I questioned Father Ryan. I don’t remember the exact wording, of course, but it was probably something like this: “If a mother goes to heaven when she dies, how could she ever be happy knowing she would never be joined by her baby, who is in purgatory?” “If God is looking after us, looking down on us at all times, why does he let bad things happen to people?” “If God exists, it would seem that either he doesn’t care or he can’t do anything to stop these things from happening – like the war. So that would mean he’s not all-knowing and all-powerful, wouldn't it?” “There must be a lot of people praying for the war to be over and for their sons to be home safe. Why isn’t he answering all of those prayers?”

I think it was after only one of these sessions with Father Ryan that I was assigned to go to help the altar boys practice their Latin responses during catechism class. I always wondered why, but I think I know now.

My questions have never been answered satisfactorily. The unbaptised baby going to purgatory issue was resolved, however, when the Vatican decided in 2007 that unbaptised babies can go to heaven instead of getting stuck somewhere between heaven and hell. I’m beyond this questioning now, of course,, but I wonder if there isn’t a fifth grade child somewhere who wonders, “If limbo doesn’t exist, what’s happening to everyone who supposedly has been there for years and years.”

In fact, I’ve added many more questions to my list. As a teenager, however, I finally chose to abandon trying to believe in God and the religion I found to be hypocritical rather than to blame God for abandoning people. My main concern these days is how religion has become so entwined with the politics of our country, how a candidate must profess to be a Christian in order to have a chance to be elected, and how religions continue to fracture our world.

In his book Letter to a Christian Nation, Sam Harris, an avowed atheist, cites, Mahavira, the Jain patriarch, saying, “ ...(he) surpassed the Christian Bible in terms of morality with one sentence: “Do not injure, abuse, oppress, enslave, insult, torment, torture, or kill any creature or living being.” Straightforward and to the point, no if’s ands or buts.

Just today I heard on a brief news clip that Afghani President Karzai in his quest for re-election has proclaimed that an Afghani woman may not leave her home without express permission from an adult male family member, as well as "she can no longer refuse her husband sexual relations," thus apparently condoning marital rape, and I don’t know what other assault against her humanity in the name of Islamic law.

I reread parts of Harris’ small but powerful book this week. His withering attack on Christianity in the form of an open letter is stronger than I would make. I call myself an agnostic or humanist, as I believe it impossible to know, the existence of God cannot be proved one way or another. That’s why it is called “faith,” I guess.

“According to a recent Gallup poll, only 12 per cent of Americans believe that life on earth has evolved through a natural process, without the interference of a deity. Thirty-one percent believe that evolution has been “guided by God.” If our worldview were put to a vote, notions of “intelligent design” would defeat the science of biology by nearly three to one. This is troubling, as nature offers no compelling evidence for an intelligent designer and countless examples of unintelligent design….The same Gallup poll revealed that 53 per cent of Americans are actually creationists. This means that despite a full century of scientific insights attesting to the antiquity of life and the greater antiquity of the earth, more than half of our neighbors believe that the entire cosmos was created six thousand years ago. This is, incidentally, about a thousand years after the Sumerians invented glue. Those with the power to elect our presidents and congressmen – and many who themselves get elected – believe that dinosaurs lived two by two upon Noah’s ark, that light from distant galaxies was created en route to the earth, and that the first members of our species were fashioned out of dirt and divine breath, in a garden with a talking snake, by the hand of an invisible God.” (Letters to a Christian Nation)

I find the whole religion dichotomy frightening. Religion may have served some useful purpose, and still does, in forming social groupings; churches certainly provide a place to belong and do much good work. But it is frightening to me that a significant percentage of the American population would not see a mushroom cloud over the United States as a horrific thing, but as the return of Christ – a glorious thing. It might be the prophesied single event – the Rapture. It is frightening to me that a significant percentage of the world believes on the basis of religious doctrine that suicide is not just legitimate, but highly commendable when undertaken for reasons of jihad (holy war). Going into war knowing with the certainty that one will die, they argue, is not suicide but martyrdom, a much praised form of self-sacrifice in the path of God, a way to win the eternal affection of God in Paradise.

There have over the years been several movies and books written about the
Rapture, including Daniel J. Gansle’s book, Rapture Redux: Living with Hope and Purpose in the Last Days (Infinity Publishing 2007), which tackles the contentious question of whether dispensationalist Evangelicals have gone too far in supporting war in the Middle East (Iraq in particular) in order to hasten the Rapture and the return of Christ. It provides a fictional look into the post-Rapture world, and how the Rapture doctrine is believed by some Christians today, some of whom may be or have been leading our country.

The very idea that our elected officials must profess their belief in any religion, let alone one that by extremists looks forward to the apocalypse, in order to be considered electable, I find offensive and frightening! That our candidate for the highest office of the land and one who would be leader of the free world should have to believe, that is, have faith that something is true that is beyond all logic and scientific evidence to the contrary, based on a book filled with contradiction after inconsistency, seems frightening to me, Like Richard Dawkins, author of The Selfish Gene and The God Delusion, “I dare you to read this book.”

Some reviews of Letters to a Christian Nation:

“Sam Harris’s elegant little book is most refreshing and a wonderful source of ammunition for those who, like me, hold to no religious doctrine. Yet I have some sympathy also with those who might be worried by his uncompromising stance. Read it and from your own view, but do not ignore its message.” –Sir Roger Penrose, emeritus professor of mathematics, Oxford University, author of The Road to Reality“

Reading Harris’ Letter to a Christian Nation was like sitting ring side, cheering the champion, yelling ‘Yes!’ at every jab. For those of us who feel depressed by this country’s ever increasing unification of church and state, and the ever decreasing support for the sciences that deliver knowledge and reduce ignorance, ... “I dare you to read this book...it will not leave you unchanged. Read it if it is the last thing you do.” —Richard Dawkins, author of The Selfish Gene and The God Delusion

“It’s a shame that not everyone in this country will read Sam Harris’ marvelous little book Letter to a Christian Nation. They won’t but they should.” —Leonard Susskind, Felix Bloch Professor in theoretical physics, Stanford University

2009-02-07T16:35:00.000-08:00

Enough Senators have signed onto a new revised downward bill that it will pass a vote and go to a joint committee of the House and Senate. The following is a list of the cuts that have been agreed upon by Senatore negotiators, including Republican leadership:

$40 billion State Fiscal Stabilization

$16 billion School Construction

$1.25 billion project-based rental

2.25 Neighborhood Stabilization (Eliminate)

$1.2 billion in Retrofiting Project 8 Housing

$7.5 billion of State Incentive Grants

$3.5 billion Higher Ed Construction (Eliminated)

$100 million FSA modernization

$50 million CSERES Research

$65 million Watershed Rehab

$30 million SD Salaries$100 million Distance Learning$98 million School Nutrition$50 million aquaculture$2 billion broadband$1 billion Head Start/Early Start$5.8 billion Health Prevention Activity.$2 billion HIT Grants$1 billion Energy Loan Guarantees$4.5 billion GSA$3.5 billion Federal Bldgs Greening
(Smaller cuts -- $10-$600 million -- after the jump)
» Continue reading List of spending "cuts" in Senate bill
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$100 million NIST$100 million NOAA$100 million Law Enforcement Wireless$50 million Detention Trustee$25 million Marshalls Construction$100 million FBI Construction$300 million Federal Prisons$300 million BYRNE Formula$140 million BYRNE Competitive$10 million State and Local Law Enforcement$50 million NASA$50 million Aeronautics$50 million Exploration$50 million Cross Agency Support$200 million NSF$100 million Science$89 million GSA Operations$300 million Fed Hybrid Vehicles$50 million from DHS$200 million TSA$122 million for Coast Guard Cutters, modifies use$25 million Fish and Wildlife$55 million Historic Preservation$20 million working capital fund$200 million Superfund$165 million Forest Svc Capital Improvement$90 million State & Private Wildlife Fire Management$75 million Smithsonian$600 million Title I (NCLB)

Beware of Free Lunch

2009-02-06T15:23:00.000-08:00

An e-mail this morning from Dan Hollister of Integrity Financial Resources makes promises for getting out of debt that at first blush sound interesting, interesting enough to perhaps be enticed to read his special report and sign up for his $49 CD that promises to show you how to get out of debt in 5-7 years? Not quite, because I've heard of Dan Hollister before and I long ago learned there is no such thing as a free lunch.

The main pitch of the e-mail says that "armed with the right information, you can be free" of the bonds of your mortgage much faster than previously thought, even with your current income. He tells about back in the 17th and 18th centuries many people who wanted to come to the new world couldn't afford the boat ride, so agreed to be indentured as servants, committing to work for someone for a few years in exchange for their passage. Often, however, they became further indebted and, in effect, became indentured servants for life.

I'm reminded of company store owned by the same people who operated the shingle mill where my Dad worked back in the 30's. The company store in a rural area stocked everything a family might need and offered credit to workers and their family. For many of the workers, by the time payday came around, all of their check might be owed. It became a vicious cycle.

It's not too different now, only we can blame easy credit through credit cards and for many it was the enticement of sub-prime mortgages that created what has become a calamity.

As Mr. Hollister says, if you dissect the word "mortgage", you get 'mort' from the Latin word "death" and 'gage', meaning 'pledge, so effectively a pledge to death. Mortgages typically are for 15 or 30 years, but lenders make it oh so easy to refinance for a new car, the new roof, remodeling, or the cruise you've always dreamed of. And now they've instituted the "reverse mortgage", so that the older person who may have paid off their mortgage or have substantial equity can borrow against their equity in the house, to be paid back with interest from the proceeds if and when the house is sold.

In an effort to understand this global financial crisis, I've been reading George Cooper's The Origin of Financial Crisis - trying to understand at any rate. The Economist says, this is "A must-read on the origins of the crisis." The trouble is you have to have a PhD in economics to really understand - if then.

I've concluded the cause is due to a complex interconnection assocated with rising debt, weakening production, outsourcing, consequent unemployment, stagnant wages, rising costs, growing class inequality with a dwindling middle class, along with global economic instability, and militarism and imperialism of the past eight years, plus exploitive corrupt practices while leaving pressing needs, such as infrastructure and health care of the country, unaddressed
unaddressed. A simpler explanation may have to do with the central banks system.

Over the years I've watched the stock market be greatly influenced every time the Fed would raise or lower interest rates. Fed Chairman Alan Greenspan just had to raise an eyebrow and say a word and the Dow could turn handstands. So when some talking head recently said, "The economy is sound. The downturn is psychological," I didn't doubt there was some truth to his statement. Although if you've just lost your job or your house is in foreclosure, it is far more than psychological, of course. In the past, the Fed would just have dropped the interest rate 1/4 or 1/2% with the promise of more if that didn't work. And the Dow would respond accordingly. The trouble is that the interest rate can't be dropped any more. And therein lies the rub!

Today reports came that another 598,000 jobs were lost last month. Are Republican senators serious when they suggest that instead of the Democratic financial stimulus package each single person be given a tax credit of $5000+ and a couple $10,000+? Hasn't this been tried before? Granted, it was a smaller amount, but did it work? What's that saying about the definition of stupidity, e.g. doing the same failed thing and expecting different results?

We voted for change. We voted for rebuilding infrastructure, improving education, evaluating our trade policies in an effort to level the playing field, health insurance for all, global climate change, reducing our dependence on foreign oil, and changing the way Washington works. I'd like to see President Obama succeed in accomplishing even a fraction of these things. Unfortunately, we're witnessing first hand this week how the sausage is made in Washington. The public may have to have an "I'm mad as hell, and I'm not going to take it any more" moment.

An American Moment

2009-02-05T17:02:00.000-08:00

An Open Letter to Congress:

We're dyin' here, folks! ...while you play politics with the life of our country. You were willing to write a blank check to the banking industry with no plan for how the money was going to be spent, no oversight at all, and we've all seen how that's turned out. While Secretary Paulson promised that ours would be a 'par' investment in the banks, e.g. $1 stock for $1, as it turns out it is about only 2/3 of that, with no assurance we will ever see any return ever. Besides that the money appears not to have been used for the intended purpose. So I can understand why y'all might want to be extra careful about another trillion dollars. And, yes, by the time we pay the interest on the $900,00 billion, it will top out at at least a trillion, I expect. However, let's get real here and think about some of your ideas for this "stimulus" package, which besides stimulating the economy is to create jobs.

From where I stand it looks like Republicans want tax cuts and tax credits for spending. Tax incentives, such as a tax credit to anyone purchasing a new car, sounds good to me, except for the fact that most of us are so nervous about how we've been losing half of our retirement savings that I don't think any sensible person is gonna go out and buy that new car right now.

Let's talk about the long list in the Democratic economic recovery package to which the Republicans and even some Democrats object, and I'll grant you I've taken a look at the benefits that will come to California, and I'm somewhat dubious about the number of jobs that will be created compared to the job losses that have been suffered. Nineteen governors and several mayors support the recovery package, and it is little wonder. A look at what California stands to gain shows that it would serve to wipe out a good part of California's predicted budget shortfall, much of which is due to Med-Cal. They predict 421,000 new jobs in California and an additional $100 a month in unemployment benefits to those out of work. Four billion dollars would go toward education, which would limit cuts currently in progress. In addition, there would be $2.8 billion for highway projects, $950 million for transit, $435 million for clean water, such as prevention of beach pollution, and $45 million for energy assistance for low-income families struggling with heating and/or air conditioning. And that's just California!

Republicans and, to be honest, many in middle America object to a list of what they decry as "pork". Included in the list of objectionables, of course, is the $50 million for the National Endowment for the Arts, which always seems to head the list; $1 billion for National Science Foundation, $14 million for cyber-security research by Homeland Security Department, $850 million for Amtrak, $400 million for climate change research, and $400 million for sexually transmitted disease research. Talking heads say that the Democrats have now that they have the chance just added all their pet projects that have been denied over the past ten years. All totalled, these items add up to less than 1% of the total.

Even so, I can do a fair amount of justifying in my own mind most of these things. As for the National Science Foundation, scientists are closing in on understanding the nature of viruses and nearing a break-through on stem cell research; surely this is a time to provide additional funding to continue this important research that may ultimately provide huge savings on health care, plus preserve research jobs.

Why not additional funding for Amtrak? I suspect the auto industry and Exxon are eager for this one to be dumped. It looks to me as though it could provide some jobs and make improvements so that more people might use train for travel.

Climate change research - well, now we have an administration who actually believes the science, so what could possibly be their reasoning for not wanting to give some financial support to something that has been short-changed for so long?

It doesn't take a genius to figure out why they want the money for research and prevention of sexually transmitted diseases eliminated. While several of their colleagues have been found in compromising positions involving sex, with this one they're thinking of voters back home rather than the jobs that could be created and the potential health-care savings. They're probably the same ones who believe in the failed abstinence only approach to sex education in the schools and were the ones that insisted on eliminating the condom program.

What do they want instead? Senator Lindsay Graham wants to give a $15,000 tax credit to first time home buyers. They're talking about an interest rate of 4 to 4.5% for those same first time home buyers if they can qualify and somehow inspire the banks, who unfortunately aren't very interested in giving loans. Kind of a Catch 22!

Aside from the above tax credit and more and more emphasis on reduced taxes, I've not seen a lot of constructive input from the Republicans, although they complain they've not been included in the process.

A bipartisan group of 19 governors, including California Governor Schwarzenegger and Charlie Crist of Florida have expressed support of the bill as it stands. Everyone hopes that something will be done to prop up the housing market, which is, of course, a major cause of the financial crises.

I'm one of the big 'D' Democrats, who believes that The National Endowment of the Arts needs more help than ever during an economic downturn. I definitely support its being given some funds in the stimulation package. The current economic situation facing everyday Americans is likewise contributing to the challenges that nonprofit organizations, especially those involved with the arts, are beginning to experience. The arts preserve our culture, provide forward thinking and are responsible for enhancing our spirits, an essential part of our country. I'm reminded of an old Afghan proverb: "If you have two coins, use the first for jasmine, the next for bread. One will give you life, the other a reason for living." (This is a saying with variations, such as "Flower" in place of jasmine, common to many cultures.) In our household, we believe "use the first for the arts, the next for bread."

It Might Have Been Otherwise

2009-02-04T08:24:00.000-08:00

For several people I know, 2009 has brought challenges and crises. For most, they might have chosen it to be otherwise, but it could have been worse. By now I'm sure that everyone has heard about the birth of octuplets last week. That's right - OCTuplet - eight babies, and thus far all seem to be thriving. I immediately recalled the Dionne quintuplets and their mixed up, messed up lives, dominated by press and overprotective doctors. I immediately assumed in-vitro fertilization and the ambivalent feelings the new parents must be having at this moment - ambivalent - happy and yet concerned about how to care for so many infants. I had initially missed the fact that these eight babies were delivered to a single mother of six children under the age of seven. Oy vez!

She did this on purpose! She says she just loves being a mother. She has always dreamed of being a mother. She hoped to add another girl to what for most people in our culture would have been a large family. And somehow she found a fertility clinic to go along with her plan. When they discovered there were seven fetuses (they had not been able to see the eighth), doctors were unable to convince her to abort any of them, so that the survivors would be stronger, etc. Is she crazy? How does she, a single woman, plan to support and raise thirteen children?

There are now thousands of blogs devoted to the outrage people are feeling toward this mother-obsessed woman, who has already hired a public relations firm looking for a two million dollar book or television deal. She wants to host a TV show as a mothering expert. Well, maybe she's crazy like a fox?

Before her in-vitro fertilization conception, she worked in a mental health facility. I dare say she should have been a client, but that's beside the point. My question is to the medical profession who, at least in theory, swears to "first do no harm." How could you, I ask, in good conscience, believe that enabling this single, obviously obsessed, woman to have yet another child would not do harm? I find it hard to believe that a reputable fertility clinic might not have had reservations at the second, third, fourth, fifth or sixth child, let alone the seventh. Instead they have enabled what appears to be an obviously mentally ill woman to create a family that will take a small army and several million dollars to raise and educate to age 17.

Even the corporations who would usually be lined up ready to give houses, diapers, baby food, clothing, etc., are being cautious as they feel the outrage of the bloggers. My outrage is more at the fertility clinic that cooperated and enabled her obsession. It might have been otherwise, but then maybe the 47 people it took to deliver and care for the preemie newborns will each seek a book deal, too. Maybe they'll turn the economy around...or maybe the taxpayers will find themselves having to bail out this family, too. It might have been otherwise. Someone somewhere along the line might have said, "Enough, already!"

I grew up during the Great Depression, one of only three children. When my children were school age, I resurrected a family recipe from the mid-1930's, which may come in handy for this mother of fourteen during this economic downturn. It takes no time at all to mix up, which I'm sure this sure to be busy mother will appreciate. In fact, with a little help the eldest, the 7 year old, will even be able to make them. He'll probably be doing a lot of helping out, I'm guessing. Child labor laws don't apply to family members, you know.

Poor Man Cookies

Boil 1 cup raisins in 2 cups water until about 1 cup liquid remains.

Add: 1/2 c. margarine or Crisco
1 c. sugar
1 tsp. soda
1 egg
1 tsp. allspice
1 tsp. cinnamon
1/2 tsp. cloves
2 c. flour

Mix and pour into greased jelly roll pan. Bake at 350 degrees for 20-25 minutes.
Frost with a thin powdered sugar/lemon or orange juice glaze.

The Measure of My Days

2009-01-17T11:20:00.000-08:00

Ed often asks me, "How was your day?" when he gets home from work. Thirty years ago that question could elicit a long conversation. Today? Not so much. What is the measure of my day? I've been thinking a lot about that lately.

My first concern of the day: Was I able to get on the internet? If so, there will be e-mails to read: from my sister, maybe my daughters, some friends, and then I'll read a few blogs. There will be the inevitable Scrabble plays with my sister, my eldest daughter, and a friend who lives two blocks away, but whom I only occasionally see. I may even write a page or two on this blog.

Who did Charlie Rose interview last night? That's almost my first question of the day. Thank heavens for TIVO! This morning I listened to his conversation with Rahm Emmanuel, in which they discussed President Elect Obama's management style and their recent interaction with Congress. Lots to think about! I "saved" it, knowing I'd want to listen to it again. Turning to CNN in time to hear the end of a pre-Inauguration whistle-stop speech in Delaware where the train coming from Philadelphia picked up Vice President Elect Joe Biden. I nervously watched
our almost new President walk out through the crowd, shaking hands, chatting, etc. I'm wishing he would keep his charismatic self behind bullet-proof glass! His taking the oath of office on the Lincoln bible and team of rivalry comparisons almost seem to be challenging, taunting, or provoking the unthinkable. It's making me crazy!

I knit. I write. I incessantly watch, read, and consider the political goings-on of the day. I have much more time to think about these things and to read the current books that are being discussed than I ever had when younger and when working. It is only because my own personal world has become narrower that I have the time or energy to become engrossed in the wider world.

I feel lucky that I enjoy my life. As a fairly private person who has always enjoyed solitude, I don't miss going out and about every day. As I am aging, my personal world seems to be getting narrower, however. I'm not yet what one would call frail, but my lack of easy mobility causes me to find staying at home easier than going out. And I am quite content. It might have been otherwise.

How long...?

2009-01-10T15:12:00.000-08:00

Ever since I started getting home delivery from Safeway, our pantry has been overflowing. It's that "free delivery" if you order $150 worth and five of these items that gets me every time. And then there's the buy one, get one free. Anyway, I decided after my last delivery on December 24th that I would see how long we could get by living off the pantry, refrigerator and freezer before ordering again. Were it not for produce, I think we're good for a few weeks. Yesterday, I dug into the big bag of pinto beans that my Latina friend, Adela, brought me when she took care of me after my knee replacement surgery. That must have been five years ago...that bag of beans will last us a lifetime!

I cooked up two cups of beans with some Jimmy Dean Italian sausage, a diced up baseball sized yellow onion and some not quite shriveled carrots, canned tomatoes, fresh thyme and parsley left from that last delivery, and a bay leaf from Nancy Keltner's yard. Well, 2 cups of beans makes a lot of bean soup. We have bean soup to last us all weekend and perhaps then some.

We do love home delivery of groceries though. Ed doesn't mind stopping by in between deliveries to pick up some fresh produce, a loaf of bread, or a half gallon of milk. It's the big long lists of strange sounding names that he dislikes. And frankly, I'm often inspired by what is on sale or what I see when I'm browsing down the "aisles" on-line. Who knew, for instance, that Crisco now has a spray-on product that contains a mixture of oil and flour to prepare cake pans? Who knew that Kraft caramel now packages caramel chips? How easy those caramel chocolate brownie bars are now to make - no unwrapping of 50 Kraft caramels!

Our last delivery contained a prime rib roast ($26 worth) that I didn't order. It was the day before Christmas, so it was probably someone's Christmas dinner. I called Safeway customer service, thinking maybe the delivery person could come back for it, but they said, "Just enjoy it!" that they would just have to throw it away, that it could not be redelivered.

It doesn't happen often, but occasionally we are billed for something that wasn't delivered. Customer service is always most accommodating, giving credit on next order of more than the value of the item.

Friends gave us gift certificates for Schwan's Home Service for Christmas. I've never had anything of theirs, but do see their truck around town now and then. Jeanne says that they lived off of their meals when she was recuperating from her accident and subsequent surgeries, so she thought we might enjoy their service, too. She says their ice cream bars are favorites, but that they haven't had anything they didn't like. I need to continue bringing the freezer inventory down a bit before I order from Schwan, I think.

I'm able to sit here at this computer, browse with the help of Google, and find almost anything I want (or need). Some things arrive within a day from the time I order, including groceries from Safeway. Being agoraphobic wouldn't be a problem. How long, I wonder, could one stay within these four walls?

To Die For

2009-01-09T11:36:00.000-08:00

I'm a self-acknowledged political junkie. I watch Bill Moyers Journal on Friday nights and Meet the Press and George Stephanopolous every Sunday morning. Frankly, we've had a bit of a conflict in our house the past few Sundays when football interferes with Fareed Zakaria. Before football season, we always TIVO'd Fareed and Ed and I watched it together. The past few weeks, however, the TIVO has been recording football, so that Ed can click through the commercials while watching the game. I've had to be sure to watch GPS live at 10 a.m. on Sunday - with commercial interruptions.

TIVO has been a great addition to our lives. I'm not sure how we could get along without it. There are some programs that I just never want to miss. For instance, Charlie Rose comes on much too late in the evening for me to watch it regularly. It does repeat at noon the next day, too, of course, but that's not a great time for me, so I TIVO his interviews every night and watch them the next morning - without fail. And moments later, you might find me in at my computer ordering a book that has just been discussed from amazon.com or our public library.

My reading list this past year has had very little fiction on it. I've been reading such things as The Post American Era by Fareed Zakaria; The Shock Doctrine, The Rise of Disaster Capitalism, by Naomi Klein, and The World is Flat by Tom Friedman. Not really light reading.

So when my daughter, Valerie, told me of a new mystery author that had been recommended to her by the owner of a used bookstore she and Sean had visited, I laughingly said I could use some mindless reading matter. She giggled a bit and added that they were mystery/romance. I asked, "You mean they are "pulsing manhood" books?

"Definitely!" She had read the two paperbacks she had bought on her first visit to the booksore, Drop Dead Gorgeous and To Die For, and had made a second trip for two more.

So I wasn't surprised when Val brought me the four Linda Howard books that she had thus far acquired. I'm no connoisseur of the romance novel, but I can assure you Ms. Howard is no John Grisham or even Robert Parker. But I have finished all four of the "romantic suspense" novels...and it is only January 9th! Even though not great literature or nail-biting suspense, the pages did seem to keep turning.

However, amazon.com delivery today brought Suze Orman's 2009 Action Plan - Keeping Your Money Safe and Sound. The first twenty pages - "a brief history of how we got here" - didn't tell me anything I didn't already know: "It was a wild drunken party of dishonesty and greed on a national scale." I'm hoping the book will prove worth the read. Thus far, her advice seems sound:

When it comes to money, if it sounds too good to be true, it is.
If you cannot afford it, do not buy it.
Always choose to do what's right, not what's easy.

Do you know what your credit card interest rate is - currently?

Drop Dead Gorgeous

2009-01-09T11:31:00.000-08:00

Knit Two...

2009-01-08T11:54:00.000-08:00

Last night I frogged the first of a pair of socks for the third time! Frustration!

Frogging for the uninitiated non-knitter refers to the "rrrriiiiippp" that takes place when you unravel knitting. It's not that it was such a complicated pattern, but just as I was about to turn the heel (the first time I had to rrrriiip), I discovered a dropped stitch about five rows down. Ordinarily, I could just knit it up using a crochet hook, but the pattern involved a k2tog and then knit into the first stitch...making a bit of a cable stitch. Not possible to do with crochet hook. I thought I might be able to just unravel down to the problem. Not possible!

The second time...I don't even want to talk about it!

Now the third time. I guess the pattern used more yarn than usual because about two inches above the heel, I became aware that I wasn't going to have enough yarn to make the sock tall enough for its intended owner. What to do?

My helpful husband suggested that I just continue and make it the length I wanted by using the second ball of yarn that I had reserved for the second sock and then use a different yarn for the toe/foot of the second sock. "It's going to be hidden in the shoe anyway, isn't it?" Who's to know...or care?

While I've knit many unmatched socks - almost anytime I use self-striping yarn, it tends to pool differently or I don't start with the yarn in exactly the same place, and the socks end up similar, but not exactly the same. But that's intentional - sort of. And they're striped. It's okay to have them turn out kind of funky. But these are dress socks. Sean will probably want to wear them to work. (Okay. I know he'll probably not take his shoes off at work!)

Well, I just couldn't do it. I rewound the yarn as I rrrriiippped...and have now started again. I am using a different yarn for the toe (as Ed suggested), but both socks will be the same - have the same "different" toe. A deliberate intentional difference.

I'm reminded of the time my aunt Teedy brought home a couple of lengths of navy blue serge that she'd found on sale. I can't remember for what occasion, but she planned to make me a gored dress - probably similar to something I'd seen Jane Powell wear in a movie.

She cut it out and sewed it up one night. In the morning when I tried it on, she and I both noticed that every other panel was black - not navy blue! In the dark they had looked the same, but in daylight that midnight blue was black. (Did you know that many men are unable to tell the difference - day or night!?) Fortuitously, it was every other gore, so it looked almost on purpose. It could have been worse.

Teedy, being creative in more ways than one, advised, "Just tell your friends this is the latest trend in Paris!" She did some fancy embroidery stitches that made the dress even more special - and more French-like. I loved that dress until I outgrew it and handed it down to a younger friend. Someone somewhere may still be wearing the dress - that serge would NEVER wear out!

A Lost Two Hours

2008-11-14T13:31:00.000-08:00

I just spent the last two hours writing for this blog and inadvertently clicked an "enter" key when I should have typed "yes." Color me frustrated. I'll try to recapture the spirit of my vent later. In the meantime, these cartoos say quite a lot.

Joan

An American Moment

2008-11-13T21:22:00.000-08:00

Now is our chance! We for once have an opportunity - in fact, an invitation - to share our vision of what an ideal Obama administration and agenda would look like. I've posted below a paragraph with links from the official www. change.gov transition blog, a place you can get an up to date thumbnail sketch of day to day activities...and no, there's nothing there about Senator Hillary Clinton being picked for Secretary of State. The rumors are rampant. Perhaps this is just a leak sent to determine how the country would feel about that.

I'm not sure how I feel about it. I'll probably need a day or two to think about it. In some respects I think she would serve the country better to become a strong Senator, a statesman such as Senator Ted Kennedy became after his defeat in Presidential bid many years ago. She has an agenda that she could pursue as the Junior Senator from New York, and eventually she would be the senior Senator from New York. She could be of great service to an Obama administration by working behind the scenes to facilitate his agenda in the Senate (and House, I expect.)

I'm wishing for a Secretary of State who would seek advice from some of the Middle East experts. As I have listened to Kerry, Richardson, and others under consideration, in comparison to Friedman and Fareed Zakaria, who have spent a lot of time over there, I'm left uncertain that just traveling over there on an occasional junket gives enough background in culture and all of the political issues to do an effective job as Secretary of State.

President-Elect Obama has a strong economic advisory team; I hope he has an equally strong one on the Middle East.

An American Moment
The story of the campaign and this historic moment has been your story. It is about the great things we can do when we come together around a common purpose. The story of bringing this country together as a healed and united nation will be led by President-Elect Obama, but written by you. The millions of you who built this campaign from the ground up, and echoed your call for the change you wanted to see implemented by the Obama Administration - this process of setting up that new government is about you.
This transition is about selecting a new staff and agenda that will help reclaim the American dream and bring about positive lasting change to this country. In order to do that, we want to hear from you.Tell us your story and the issues that matter most to you. Share with us your concerns and hopes. – the policies you want to see carried out in the next four years. - from www.change.gov (the official transition web site).

I don't have to think even one minute about how I feel about President Bush's blanket pardon and his Executive privilege being extended past January 20th. I know exactly how I feel. Forget about it! While I'm not sure that President Obama will be able to delve into it to the extent I'd like to see - he's got too much else of critical nature on his plate - I'd like him to have the power to do that should the spirit ever move him or the Congress to investigate and bring a few people of the Bush administration to justice, I'd surely like to see that happen.

One major policy I'd like to see carried out involves some of the overreaching of Presidential powers abused by the Bush administration. That is one of the reasons I had hoped for impeachment proceedings. Impeachment of this President might have provided a deterrent to any future president continue the assumed powers of this President. This "war on terror", undeclared and unending, has meant that this past seven years we have as citizens lost more than an economy, more than 4000+ lives of our young men, more than our reputation abroad. I'm more worried that someone is watching and keeping track of the books I buy from amazon.com, the websites I read, the books I check out at the library, and the e-mail I receive from overseas than I am from terrorists. This isn't the America I grew up in. It's not the America I want for my grandchildren. It's vaguely reminiscent of another country in another time.

This is an American Moment...a time to reclaim the American dream.

Joan

P. S. Max's water polo team won their semi-finals game today in Lodi. On to fight again another day - finals Saturday: Davis vs. Jesuit on Saturday (Elk Grove, I think.)

Great Expectations!

2008-11-12T20:10:00.000-08:00

Last Tuesday night one commentator said, "Tonight change walked on stage in Chicago." We are expecting so much of a President Obama - more perhaps than he can possibly deliver. Certainly not in the 100 days usually aimed for. I heard today that 67% of the American public, Democrats and Republicans", believe that Barack Obama with be a great president. I'm one of those who have high hopes for him, but I'm also well aware that the task ahead is beyond awesome.

Hard as the campaigning may have been, that was surely the easy part by comparison to what is ahead. He's entering a hornet's nest of firmly entrenched interests, ideology, lobbyists, special interests, think tanks and pundits who believe they have all the answers. And that's not to even mention the firmly entrenched military industrial security complex, bloated beyond belief and what many believe to be untouchable. The intelligence system alone has more than eighteen agencies. As we speak, Hank Paulson is adding innumerable employees to administer the 700 billion dollar bailout, which just today he said had gone awry and is already under revision.

How will President Obama ever be able to get rid of the crony corporations that have pitched their tents and taken control of all the privatization that has occurred - here and especially in Iraq and Afghanistan? I know he'll never be able to do it on his own - or even with the many new members of his Cabinet and a sympathetic Congress. I believe he will need the support of all those who voted for him. We're going to have to speak out loud and clear to our congressional representatives. They're going to have to be made aware of what the American people are thinking on every issue. This is no time for complacency and permitting President Obama and the Congress to do their work in isolation. We're going to have to "Stand Up! Stand Up!" for what we believe to be the right course. We've got to keep those letters and phone calls coming, folks!

Today I read an article by Paul Waldman of Media Matters: "Goodbye and Good Riddance", in which he said:

“This presidency is finally over. We can say goodbye to an administration whose misdeeds have piled so high that the size of the mountain no longer shocks us. In our lifetimes, we will see administrations of varying degrees of competence and integrity, some we'll agree with and some we won't. But we will probably never see another quite like the one now finally reaching its end, so mind-boggling a parade of incompetence and malice, dishonesty, and immorality. So at last -- at long, long last -- we can say goodbye. “

http://prospect.org//cs/articles;jsessionid=a4DOT9jymED_agX9s2?article=goodbye_and_good_riddance

Unfortunately he'd not gone yet; it's not yet time to say goodbye. We do not have a new president until January 20th. However, on the economy and related problems, it does seem that this President has essentially checked out. We have an economy floundering, a Secretary of the Treasury who admittedly doesn’t have a clue about what to do with the 700 billion dollars that has been allocated to try to solve the economic woes of the country, an auto industry on the brink of bankruptcy, and no one who knows what to do about it. The trillion dollars that has thus far been allocated to bail out the economy is charged to our children and grandchildren’s VISA cards. They will have to one day pay the bill. We should right now hold Congress accountable for being sure that the money is well spent – not used for bonuses for incompetent managers of banks, AIG, and auto industry.

More loans to the auto industry? For what? If I were going to give out any loans, it would be so that people can get loans to buy cars, not for administrative costs of the auto industry or the AIG's or the banks. Stimulate the economy in that way. As a condition of loans, if I were running the store, I would furlough the incompetents and bring in the best and brightest, most experienced businesspeople to run the show. How about a Steve Jobs, who could probably have an I-car on the roads by 2010! Or a Google type. As Tom Friedman so eloquently said, "Invent, baby, invent!"

No one's minding the store! Hank Paulson doesn't seem to have a coherent plan yet. He and Bernanke seem to be lurching from one thing to another, with no leadership coming from President Bush, who seems to be thinking about his move back to Texas. And who could blame him. His staff is busy putting together last minute signing statements and regulations, and pardons to be considered by President Bush in the waning days of his Presidency. The Republican party is meeting as we speak, mulling over ideas of ways to put a monkeywrench into President Obama's plans so the GOP will have a better chance of being elected in 2010. What a mess! And as President-Elect Obama says, "One President at a time!" He just has to bide his time, putting together his administration, revising his plans based on the probable situation "on the ground" come January 20th. We have great expectations for him...and for us. I'm praying we won't be disappointed. We have too much at stake.

In the meantime...

Talk to Obama…

Click here: Change.gov

http://www.change.gov/

Joan

Water Polo Quarter Finals in Lodi

2008-11-11T15:32:00.000-08:00

Pictured L-R: Max (#11) in both pictures, taking a shot in a game; defending against a teammate in a scrimmage.

* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *

I was first introduced to water polo back when Marci and Laurie were in high school, I watched Dave Scott play for the Davis High School Blue Devils team and then a few years later Mark played for the DHS team, too. And then Marci had several friends on the UCD varsity water polo team during her Freshman year, and I watched several of their games then. I've always enjoyed the sport, but never so much as when I know one or more of the players. It was fun to watch the USA team at the Olympics when Craig Wilson was their goalie.

Grandson Max, a junior, is playing for his third year for DHS Varsity. As winners of their League, they played against Turlock today in the Quarter Final Play Offs in Lodi. I've missed all of their games this season, but had vowed I would make the Section Finals. I must confess this game against Turlock was not very exciting as their opposing team was far outgunned and outmanned! The good news is that all of the Davis team members had a chance to play. Max scored three of the 16 points against Turlock's 3 points, most of which were scored during the quarters in which the starters took some time out on the bench. The team and coach expect Thursday's game, also in Lodi, to be more challenging.

The coach's note to team and parents: , This week will mark the final week of Blue Devil water polo this season. Time flies! Of course, our objective is to make it to the section finals on Saturday. While it may be easy to look past teams towards a “probable” match-up with Jesuit in the finals, I want to remind all of us—athletes AND parents—that we cannot look past any opponent. Each of these teams wants their season to continue, as well. They will compete as though their season is on the line, because it is! As I like to say “If the Aggies can go to Stanford and defeat them in football, then anything can happen”. That being said, I have reminded the boys to focus solely on our match on Tuesday against Turlock H.S.

Jesuit is the team to beat, apparently. I remember one game against Jesuit last year, in which it seemed they had what appeared to be an unlimited number of players, it seemed - good players deep and big! Jesuit is a school that requires every student to participate in a sport, so they have

many students coming out for every sport - many more from which to draw than Davis High School. Davis' more experienced team beat them once this season before their novice players had gained experience. We'll see about Saturday!

We drove back in separate cars, rendezvousing at Sudwerks for lunch. I had their pot roast sandwich, plus a few of Max's hotwings and Marci's garlic fries. I'll not be needing any dinner tonight!

The good news is that it's 4:12 p.m. and I haven't had the TV on all day, so I don't have a clue what the stock market did today or what the pundits are saying about President-Elect Obama and what he might or might not do. The evening is young!

Joan

WE Accomplished a Lot Today

2008-11-10T23:08:00.000-08:00

I read my e-mail, caught up on the news, finished a very cute slipper sock for Evelyn (I think - if they will fit her), watched a bit of TV, and had a glorious nap while Ed watched the first half of the 49'er's game. WE talked with the gardener and got the bedding plants WE bought yesterday in the ground this morning. WE went to Safeway and picked up some miscellaneous groceries that I had forgotten to order on-line last week.

Our house had been having low water pressure for the past several days and had feared we had a leak within the house after I had gotten affirmation from the City that they had had no water pressure problems reported. So WE had called Culligan to see if the timing of a new water softener tank installation had coincided with out problems. They said that the new tank had been installed about three weeks ago; our problem had only begun a week ago. So WE called The Plumbing Rx and they scurried right over. Sure 'nough, when the repairman bypassed the tank, the water pressure in the house was restored to full capacity. WE had been so pleasant with the Plumbing Doctor that he hadn't even charged us for the house call. WE called Culligan again and shortly thereafter, a new tank was installed and all is well in the Callaway household once again.

When Ed said tonight that WE accomplished a lot today, I noted that I hadn't done much of anything. Sardonically, he quipped, "The royal WE! Isn't that what WE always use?"

I must confess I do use the "royal WE" a lot, as in "We should get some milk today." "We need to..."

I watched the ending of the game - 49'er's lost in the end. But they played well. It was a good game. Fun to watch the new coach, who is so different from Nolan - animated and apoplectic at times. With his enthusiasm, he should get this team whipped into shape in no time. There's no royal WE goin' on there. He seems to be holding each and every team member responsible for their actions.

Joan

One Thing Led to Another

2008-11-09T19:38:00.000-08:00

After an early morning spent mulling over the content of Meet the Press, This Week With George Stephanopolous, and Fareed Zakaria's GPS, we entered Season's Restaurant exactly at 12 noon, the appointed hour. Laurie greeted us at the door. The restaurant was surprisingly empty. Well, perhaps not surprising given the dreaded word - ECONOMY! Luckily, we had a $40 gift certificate that remained unused since my last birthday in January.

We had thought perhaps Connor would join us, but he had gone to a concert in Chico Saturday night, and didn't arrive back in time. Never mind. We had lots to talk about as we hadn't been in each other's presence since the election.

One thing led to another. First, what did we think about the Raum Emanuel pick as Chief of Staff. I had a definite opinion about that, having seen him and his two brothers interviewed by Charlie Rose some weeks/months back and been impressed by his sense of humor and the warmth shown with his brothers. While he may be thought of as aggressive and abrasive by some, his true self I believe showed a different side with his brothers - a warmth he may not always display in his direct side. Obama knows him well. Obama doesn't seem afraid to have people with whom he may disagree surround him. He strongly believes, "We can disagree without being disagreeable." I think it will serve him well to have someone perceived as the "attack dog" in his stable. He can remain "No drama Obama!" and let his Chief of Staff do the heavy lifting.

Laurie commented that before the election, one of her colleagues had asked her how she felt about Proposition 8, the California gay marriage ban question. I had assumed "opposed", but Laurie said, "No, ...'mixed.' This led to a lengthy discussion, because my (and Ed's) feelings had been that whether a homosexual couple marries and calls it "marriage" does not in any way affect our marriage and that they should have equal rights. For us, it was a no-brainer.

Able to look at both sides of the issue, Laurie put forth what I suppose is a logical reason for the "mixed" opinion. Disagreeing without being disagreeable, we concluded that the best of all worlds would be that everyone, heterosexual as well as homosexual couples wishing to be joined in some kind of legal union should apply for a "domestic partnership" license with the state(s) and have whatever kind of spiritual/religious ceremony they wish to have. The vows they would take would be of their own choosing. The domestic partnership would entitle equal benefits, privileges, and legal status to each. No difference. The words "husband" and "wife" could remain with the heterosexual couples as currently used - or not.

Remember back in the beginnings of women's lib when being identified as "my wife" somehow seemed to infer entitlement or chattel? Although this was not part of today's discussion, I'm wondering when that changed. Two of my daughters and my daughter-in-law chose not to give up their maiden name when they married. It seems clear they wanted to maintain their own individuality, their own identity separate and apart from their legal domestic partner. Did they give up their right to their own identity when being identified, as in somebody's "my" anything? Just saying.

Joan

A Cause Greater...

2008-11-08T21:41:00.000-08:00

This afternoon I tuned into CNN to see what was happening in the world on this Saturday afternoon. I heard only a very few minutes of a select group of hopeful Democrats. I had missed most of their comments. Next came a group of grumbling, grumpy Republicam pols, sure that a President Obama and a predominantly Democratic Congress would spend the country into oblivion with a welfare state. I was struck that their ideas centered wholly on what they could do to counteract any of his plans, so that they could regain seats in 2010 and the Presidency in 2012. No thought to the economy, the infrastructure, the war, jobs, or what might be best for the Country as a whole - just what would be best for the Republican prospects for reelection.

It is understandable that this contingent would be disheartened and disappointed by a loss such as they endured this past week. I remember what it was like when Gore and Kerry were defeated. However, not one word was said today indicating that they would take a look at what Obama proposes and see if it is good for the country and the people. He's not yet even been inaugurated and they talked only of how they could work together to prevent anything he proposed just because it might reflect good on the Democratic party. Working across party lines - what a concept! I wanted to phone in and suggest that they get some much needed rest, come out in a few weeks renewed with the spirit of a patriot interested in making a difference by serving a cause greater than their own self-interests. As President-Elect Obama has said repeatedly: The country needs you!

Ed reminded me the other day of an older comedian who said he felt these people's parents had said once too often over the years, "Now don't you get smart!" and they had taken it to heart.

A friend e-mailed me yesterday how elated she was at the election of an African American president: "What a night on Tuesday! I don’t care how anyone voted, they had to be moved by the historic moment that an African American was elected our President. As Whoopi Goldberg said on TV, “I have always loved America but now I feel I have finally put my suitcase down.” I can only imagine what it must feel like to our black population, knowing we have officially erased the color divide.

"It wasn’t long ago that I talked with my childhood friend, Florence. We both remembered when we were kids in South Pasadena and two African American boys came to our town swimming pool, the Plunge, to swim. They were kicked out by the lifeguards and our pool was closed for days in the middle of summer while the pool was drained and scrubbed to get rid of the pollution. Blacks were not allowed to live in our town. When one family bought a home, our city council asked them to leave and bought their house. "

I wrote her that Ed had told me about that swimming pool incident, too. His father had forbidden the family from using the segregated pool after that. He said that if the black children would not be allowed to swim in the pool neither would his children.

My friend wrote back: "His family was much more enlightened than mine. I remember being upset by the discrimination, but I happily swam in the pool anyway after it was “decontaminated.” I am so glad we have grown and changed as a country, although I feel very hurt at how hostile my Republican friends have been. One good friend said, “I won’t accept this election as being legitimate.” I have been skewered for my opinions, which I have tried to keep moderate. I thought of Abraham Lincoln’s comment, “A man is my friend as long as he is walking my way.” I have been realizing that some “friends” may no longer be friends. As one supposed Republican friend said during the elections to me, “I don’t want your communist ideas polluting my computer screen.” Gee, I never knew I was a communist. I thought I was a nice little old lady from South Pasadena. "

I know that I've undoubtedly sent some political commentary e-mails to friends - perhaps some offensive to our Republican friends. Can't blame a girl for trying to convert a few. Or can you? I've always subscribed to the notion that, s Obama said many times during the campaign, "We can disagree without being disagreeable." I was married for 25 years to a "devil's advocate", who loved to create discourse by taking a side of an argument that he knew would get a rise out of me. I learned to love a good discussion.

Alice Walker said in her Open Letter to Barack Obama, (see below)"We must learn actually not to have enemies, but only confused adversaries who are ourselves in disguise." Hopefully, our friendships are strong enough to override our political differences. Hopefully also, the losers in this election will realize and accept the idea that - just perhaps - a new day of cooperation, a fusion of the two parties, might create a few patriots, as opposed to politicians. My hope is that in order to create a more perfect union, President-Elect will nominate a few Republican patriots to his cabinet. It could make all the difference.

Joan

P. S. An Open Letter to President-Elect Obama from Alice Walker

"I would advise you to remember that you did not create the disaster that the world is experiencing, and you alone are not responsible for bringing the world back to balance."

"...I would further advise you not to take on other people's enemies. Most damage that others do to us is out of fear, humiliation and pain. Those feelings occur in all of us, not just in those of us who profess a certain religious or racial devotion.We must learn actually not to have enemies, but only confused adversaries who are ourselves in disguise." - Alice Walker

http://www.theroot.com/id/48726

One Story Begins...and Another Ends

2008-11-07T21:22:00.000-08:00

A new president cannot pick the place his story starts. As I predicted, President-Elect Obama is not letting any grass grow under his feet.

Today he spoke by phone with top world leaders about the world financial crisis as well as other problems. And then he moved on to a meeting with his large economic advisory team and then quickly to his first press conference since his election on Tuesday. Beside him were Vice President Elect Joe Biden and newly appointed Illinois congressman Rahm Emanuel as his chief of staff. Standing in support behind him were sixteen or so of his economic advisors with whom he had just met.

While still seeming very presidential, with a much more casual flair, he made a couple of jokes and smiled broadly, seeming surprised when the press stood as he walked toward the podium. (Later in the day, he called to apologize to Nancy Reagan for a joke he deemed inappropriate. When asked if he had spoken to any of the past presidents about transitioning into the White House, he said yes, he had, and then quipped..."at least the living ones, not to be confused with the Nancy Reagan seances." As it turns out, even that was a mistake. It wasn't Nancy Reagan at all to whom he wished to refer; it had been Hillary Clinton who claimed to have had sessions with Eleanor Roosevelt. Nancy Reagan had just read astrology to find appropriate dates for things for the President, as I recall.)

Yesterday the first day after the election with a dismal job report just out, the stock market took a 500+ dive. Today the market reacted to Obama's apparent swift action (or perception that things would be better) with a couple hundred point recovery.

I spent much of yesterday and this morning finishing The New Paradigm for Financial Markets: The Credit Crisis of 2008 by George Soros. I should have read it in May when it came out! However, since I'd rather have a root canal without anesthesia than read about economics, I had put it off until the situation became desperate. I really needed a translator for some of what he described. One of the main points I got from the book is that "perception is reality and it is unpredictably dynamic and unreliable." Of course, I've known that for a long time. Warren Buffet sneezes and the market goes down. When he's smiling or when Greenspan (or now Bernanke) indicate lower interest rates, market goes up. Better than expected earnings reports and market goes up. Two cents lower than expected - down. Go figure! Confidence is everything.

I understood before I read the book about the millions of foreclosures and trillions in credit losses. I've a glimmering of how the market works. I've known that it is all a matter of perceptions and confidence. I also knew about the bailout - excuse me, that's not what it's being called now, is it? This book talks about derivatives and all kinds of foreign sounding words to my ears. And George Soros does not paint a rosy picture for the next few months or even years. This book is not reading for the faint of heart!

It was reassuring after this grim reading to know that our new President-Elect is on the job...and that he is surrounding himself with economic gurus. Rumors are rampant about who he will select to be the new Secretary of the Treasury. Never in my memory has that been such a hot item in the news this early in the game or of particular interest to the general public. Now, it seems with 401K's and people's jobs and livelihood at stake, everyone seems to care. My checking Schwab's daily report clearly shows my interest!

* * * * * * * * *

As I opened yahoo tonight, an article in Truthout by Bill Ayers popped up and caught my interest. He remained remarkably silent during the election, but here now three days after the election is an article you may want to read. He says, "It has been a wild ride!" http://www.truthout.org/110708R

* * * * * * * * *

On a more personal note, I received an e-mail from a friend that included a Face Book post from today about our friend, Dick Brunelle, who suffering from dementia and is currently in Sierra Convalescent Hospital.

The young man, a former student of Dick's, wrote a touching tribute to a dedicated teacher of music who had more than casually touched his life. Indeed. My son, Mark, sang in his Madrigal choir for three years. Valerie played violin in the concert orchestra under his tutelage. He inspired many. A fitting tribute took place a few years ago when a massive reunion choir from all of the years of the Davis High School Madrigal Singers gathered for three days of rehearsal, and sang a concert at Mondavi Center in his honor. He clearly enjoyed the event and seeing old friends. The new performing arts center at the high school has aptly been named in his honor.

Just as President-Elect Obama cannot pick the place his story begins, neither can we pick the place our story ends.

Joan

Beginning in Earnest

2008-11-06T13:07:00.000-08:00

As I watched our new President Elect deliver his speech on Tuesday evening, earlier than any of us had anticipated, I was struck with the weight that already seemed heaped upon his shoulders. While he stood tall, regal almost, there was no sense of lightness of being, no full smiles to the crowd, only what seemed to be recognition of the solemn duty ahead. Full bright smiles came only when he was with his daughters and wife. His well-crafted words, clearly written by the man himself, gave us encouragement and inspiration that I'm hoping that he can internalize as well.

This afternoon when I came home from my writing group where we had shared our joy at the outcome of the Presidential election, although sadness of the defeat of the equality of marriage act of California, I found an e-mail inviting me to follow the transition team activities on-line - already up and running the day after the election. http://www.change.gov/

Heading that site a quote read: "Today we begin in earnest the work of making sure that the world we leave our children is just a little bit better than the one we inhabit today." - President Elect Barack Obama

Listed below I found an ambitious agenda:

Revitalizing the Economy

When I had first walked in the door, I had turned on the TV, Channel 38, to check the DOW, S & P, and Nasdaq. I'd been threatening to make some strategic sells should the market get back up to 9500. Oops! too late! Should have done it Tuesday...now down another 400 points or so, the biggest two-day drop. Oh, well! Confidence...that's all we need. But a sad job loss report today indicates the stimulus package shouldn't wait until January 20th. But is sending another check to people or giving them a tax credit really going to make an impact? Me thinks we'd be better off to get a WPA-type project going building bridges, roads, and whatever other infrastructure needs shoring up - creating jobs, jobs, and more jobs. Perhaps add on some incentives for "invent, Baby, invent" instead of "drill, Baby, drill," hoping that some talented and inventive young people in a "silicone valley" of the United States will come up with a new invention to help us solve one of the existing problems related to energy and/or global warming. Tied into this is the dire need for encouraging our young people in science, engineering and math. One thing leads to another and this suddenly brings us to education, doesn't it. We need more qualified teachers, and they should be paid commensurate to the awesome responsibility and burden we place upon them - teaching and guiding our children during the major part of the waking day. (I do get carried away. But little wonder that our President Elect was not all smiles as he took on the tremendous task ahead of him! All of this seems tied to just the first item on the agenda!)

Ending the War in Iraq

Oh, yes, Peace in the Middle East! You may have heard the old joke, which I'll never remember correctly...I'm great at remembering punch lines. The gist of it is that God (I think it was God) was granting one wish to the person. The person asked for a bridge to Hawaii (I think it was Hawaii!). God said, "That's impossible. It's xxxxx miles away. You can't build a bridge that far. What's your next wish." So the guy thinks for awhile and then says, "Well, how about Peace in the Middle East?" God thinks for a minute and then says, "Let me think about the bridge again."

Providing health care for all

This is another big one, especially given the economy, and how complicated this issue is. I can't begin to comprehend how this is going to happen without a lot of study, bipartisan effort, involvement of pharmaceutical companies, as well as medical profession. And I'm guessing that doctors will be the first to agree that it is no fun to be a doctor anymore. They're certainly going to be ready to see something change.

Protecting America

Renewing Global Leadership

The last two seem linked together. It was heartwarming to see videos of people around the world elated at the prospect of an Obama presidency. There will hopefully be a honeymoon period in which he may be given a bit of space in which to tend to pressing domestic issues. I'm hopeful that he won't wait until the end of his second term to work on the "peace in the Middle East" Israel-Palestinian issue, however. Because it is difficult is not a good reason to place it on the back burner for too long. It seems that U.S. leadership will be essential if a solution is ever to be found.

Is it any wonder, Obama had a somber look about him? I've thought all along during the past two years..."Why would anyone want to be President now - now of all times? The Democrats should let a Republican have it...Let them clean up the mess!" Who knows? Maybe that's why the Republicans ran such an erratic campaign. Maybe they knew that McCain had a long shot at winning - considered him expendable, a throw-away candidate. Let the Democrats win - let them clean up our mess! Cynical, you say? Possibly. It's been hard not to be cynical lately.

It's going to be a nice change. A literary, literate, thoughtful, and inquisitive President, and one who promises to use the Internet to keep us involved, thus providing a transparency we've not seen in our government in a long time. I plan to check in on http://change.gov/ frequently. There's even a way to add your two cents worth when the spirit moves you.

I'm expecting much more of a trickle down effect from President Obama's intelligence and ability to articulate his thoughts in a coherent manner than from any of the past administration's "trickle-down" economics. I expect that a new generation may learn to pronounce (and thus spell) nuclear, for instance! And perhaps "elite" will no longer be a dirty word!

Joan

It's a new day!

2008-11-05T08:50:00.000-08:00

I can't say it any better than Michael Moore said it in his morning e-mail: “Who among us is not at a loss for words? Tears pour out. Tears of joy. Tears of relief. A stunning, whopping landslide of hope in a time of deep despair. "

I've been so nervous for so long. Florida's "hanging chad" in 2000 and Ohio's computer glitches and/or snitches in 2004 had caused me to lose faith in an electoral system I had never doubted before. How, I wondered, would the Republicans find a way to turn the tides this time. Were those electronic voting machines going to give us a fairly accurate vote this time? Could we trust them?

Then we waited for the October surprise? The 24 hour news cycle reminded us hourly of the Rovian threat, and they surely tried the weekend before the election with the Kenyan aunt living in this country illegally and with Sarah Palin revving up her vitriol in every stump speech in an every more passionate voice. John McCain's certainty the last week that he was going to win - a certainty that caused my anxiety to rise in spite of Obama's calm and steady demeanor. So tension built...thus tears of relief last night, as well as joy!

Michael Moore went on in his letter this morning: “In a nation that was founded on genocide and then built on the backs of slaves, it was an unexpected moment, shocking in its simplicity: Barack Obama, a good man, a black man, said he would bring change to Washington, and the majority of the country liked that idea. The racists were present throughout the campaign and in the voting booth. But they are no longer the majority, and we will see their flame of hate fizzle out in our lifetime.”

Someone said this morning on TV, "Yes, we know there are racists - in every neighborhood, sometimes subtle." And he related them to mosquitoes..."they're there, we know they're there." While I'm not sure they will ever be totally eradicated - mosquitoes or racists - I believe with each generation removed from that earlier time, with each victory won, however small, "the flame of hate" grows dimmer.

Thomas Friedman in his Op-Ed column, “Finishing Our Work”, in this morning’s New York Times wrote: “This moment was necessary, for despite a century of civil rights legislation, judicial interventions and social activism — despite Brown v. Board of Education, Martin Luther King’s I-have-a-dream crusade and the 1964 Civil Rights Act — the Civil War could never truly be said to have ended until America’s white majority actually elected an African-American as president.” He concluded his column with: “…Obama’s campaign tapped a dormant civic idealism, a hunger among Americans to serve a cause greater than themselves, a yearning to be citizens again.”None of this will be easy. But my gut tells me that of all the changes that will be ushered in by an Obama presidency, breaking with our racial past may turn out to be the least of them. There is just so much work to be done. The Civil War is over. Let reconstruction begin. “

We moved to New Orleans in the late 60's when the administrator of Touro Infirmary recruited my husband to be his associate with the express purpose of integrating the hospital. At that time, Touro treated black patients as out patients, but if they needed to be hospitalized, they were transferred to Charity Hospital across town. A black patient had never shared a room with a white patient at Touro Infirmary. There was much to be done. In the process, we encountered a lot of racism. Much more annoying and even deadly than the mosquito, although just as common. Our children were labeled "nigger lovers", ugly graffiti was painted on our front door by neighborhood children, our church was fire bombed. We were moved to march in protest when James Reeb was murdered.

Today is a big day - but not just because Barack Obama is a black man. It's a bit of that, true. But it is much more. I'll admit, frankly, that I am a political junkie. I Tivo Charlie Rose and watch it every morning without fail. I watch Bill Moyer's Journal and Fareed Zakaria. I read every book recommended by any of their guests. When I heard the now famous speech Obama made at John Kerry's nomination convention, I said to my husband, "That man should be President one day." I was inspired to tears at his words. He spoke of the country I wanted this country to be; not the one I feared we were destined to have if George Bush were to be reelected. (My derisive and prophetic political coffee mug said, "George Bush in 2004 'cause it takes 8 years to ruin a country!"}

And then I read his first book...and his second, the Audacity of Hope. I listened to interviews where he promoted his book. And I began to hope. "Run, Obama, Run!" Even David Brooks, a conservative New York Times columnist wrote an article with that title. Black friends questioned his running - I think they dared not hope. They feared for his safety, as do we all...

Last night before he walked out on stage, he wrote an e-mail to his supporters - a letter of thanks, of course, but more than that. He said he'd be sending more of those, asking for more of our help. He's a community organizer. I believe that is in his DNA. I have the audacity to hope that he will ask the American people to help him get this country back to its standing...standing not only in the eyes of other countries, but in our own eyes. It's a new day! Let the reconstruction begin!

Joan